Happiness is not a result at all. It is not the result of getting something we don’t have. It is just the recognition of the value of what we already have. Because of their age, children are not able to appreciate their parents’ efforts, they cannot yet understand what is behind the comfort and prosperity of a childhood, what efforts are required. But by setting an example, adults can begin to notice and appreciate what surrounds them by practicing regularly. And as a result, this will lead to the child’s understanding of the value of parental labor.
The modern materialistic world understands the word “happiness” as the possession of material resources, real estate, high social status, and other regalia and attributes. Today, false prestige flourishes and is absorbed by children with their mother’s milk. That’s why we see endlessly selfish and dissatisfied children, even though they seem to have everything: toys, clothes, separate rooms, a whirlpool of entertainment, a variety of food and sweets.
How many truly happy people do we see around us? Does it have the desired effect? Of course not. Any successful person who has reached any heights will tell you that the “height” itself and its achievement does not make a person happy once and for all. It is just a way. Happiness is rather a state, a feeling, and an internal one at that.
So what is the feature that distinguishes a happy person from an unhappy one? Gratitude. When a person is able to appreciate what they have. To feel the value of what they have. For example, like the girl Pollyanna, the heroine of the novel of the same name by Elinor Porter, who teaches her entire environment to play the game of joy. The point of the game is to always be happy, despite the fact that sometimes there seems to be nothing to be happy about. To find something positive to be happy about.
How do you teach children to be grateful? Not by constantly telling them that they should be grateful, but by fostering it in them. The words “thank you” and “please” are good helpers, but they are not enough, unfortunately. It is necessary to gradually instill this habit by regularly and consciously repeating the exercises.
So, let’s look at the exercises themselves:
“Gifts of the Day”. It is advisable to do it every day. You can do it, for example, at the end of the day, before going to bed. It is important to sit down next to your child and start listing all the “gifts” of the day. This includes meetings, experiences, people, events, moments, treats, achievements, successes, etc. that you are grateful for. Preschool children are very impressionable and do not yet know how to reflect. Therefore, they can easily forget what happened to them in the morning by the evening, especially if the day was busy. By listing all the good moments, we teach a child to see what is happening to us as a gift. And in this way, we teach them to celebrate positive and good things, to “highlight” them.
“Do you remember…”. To consolidate the pleasant events of the day in our memory, we need to talk about them with our child: “Do you remember how much you liked going down the slide,” “Do you remember how happy you were when your friend came to visit,” “Do you remember how happy you were when you managed to assemble an airplane from a construction set,” and so on. If you encounter situations with a negative connotation, you can easily find a reason to be grateful. For example, if you were unable to pick up your child from daycare because the car broke down and it was raining outside, note that this allowed you to spend more time together because you walked and he finally got to walk through the puddles in his new rubber boots.
“That’s great!” Noting the positive moments and remembering to give thanks changes the way we think, find value, and teach it to our children. For example, “It’s great that the whole family is going to dinner tonight,” “It’s great that I have a day off today and we are watching a cartoon together,” “It’s great that we have the opportunity to draw today!”
GoodCreation. You decide when and how much time you are ready to devote to this area. Either once a month or weekly (daily), when you and your children do something useful for other people. This includes charity (collecting things, helping the needy), cleaning the public area (yard, garage, playground), feeding animals in the kennel, helping the elderly, etc. This habit gives a child the understanding and feeling that it is pleasant not only to take but also to give. This is one of the important components of gratitude.
“You are my assistant!”. When children are thanked for their help, they feel appreciated. Such mundane things as putting toys or dishes in the sink become enjoyable. Gratitude leads to a child’s desire to help and makes them want to do their best. Allow your child to help you, let them do something themselves – they will have a reason to be proud of themselves and feel your gratitude.
“Share.” Scientific studies have shown that young children are much happier when they have the opportunity to share something with others or to be treated. A gift made with their own hands brings them the most joy. It is also important to explain to children that you can give them not only things or objects, but also kind words, a smile or a hug. You can share your toys or sweets. Parents should make sure that this happens consciously at least once a day.
“We are so lucky!” Every day, note how lucky you are: that you caught the bus, that you have comfortable seats in the cinema, that you live in the greenest part of the city, that you are friends with the kindest neighbors, that there are free seats on the slide (swing), etc.
As you can see, happiness is not a result at all. It is not the result of getting something we don’t have. It is just the recognition of the value of what we already have. Children, because of their age, are not able to appreciate their parents’ efforts, they cannot yet understand what is behind the comfort and prosperity of childhood, what efforts are required. But by setting an example, adults can begin to notice and appreciate what surrounds them by practicing regularly. And as a result, this will lead to an understanding of the value of parental care in a child.
