5 simple techniques to improve family life

For us, family is a separate small universe in which each person develops, revealing new facets of themselves. We want to protect our loved ones from worries, dangers and all evil. We strive to give them tenderness and home comfort. To create a warm atmosphere in your family, follow the advice of Elsa Punseth, a modern psychologist who specializes in emotional intelligence. Her “Book of Small Victories” contains valuable techniques and exercises to improve family life.

The “We have guests at home” technique

Emotions play an extremely important role in family relationships. And the well-being of the whole family depends on self-control skills. Imagine a situation where, during a family conflict, a neighbor suddenly appears on the doorstep. The quarrel stops and all attention is turned to the guest. They invite him in, offer him tea, and all family members communicate cordially with him and with each other. When the neighbor leaves, the conflict may continue in a more peaceful tone, or everyone calms down and goes about their business. So is a neighbor’s visit necessary if each of us can exercise self-control?

Try a fairly simple trick: behave with your loved ones all day long as if a neighbor, distant relative, or friend were visiting. You won’t say a single word that will make you blush in front of a stranger, will you? It can be difficult to start controlling yourself within the walls where we are used to relaxing and thinking less about our behavior. But it is recommended to use this technique systematically to maintain a healthy emotional atmosphere in the family.

Create a positive atmosphere

Optimism is not naivety or irresponsibility, it is a conscious choice not to lose heart even in difficult situations. In a family, this approach is fundamental because it creates an atmosphere of support, trust, and emotional security. Optimism does not mean ignoring problems, but rather, it allows you to approach them with a willingness to find a solution while maintaining faith in the best.

It is not always possible to maintain a positive attitude, but it is important to maintain it, because the feeling of joy is transmitted to close people. It is also important that the shared space is pleasant. Decorate the interior of your home with family photos, cute items, place stickers with funny phrases on the fridge, and leave loving notes for your loved ones. Spend time with your family playing board games, watching movies, and going for walks. Create and maintain family rituals or traditions. Perhaps this good story will inspire you to create your own positive rituals in your family. Don’t forget about humor, as it creates ease of communication, lightens the atmosphere, lifts the mood, and unites.

Add variety and pleasant surprises

A study of 1700 married couples with many years of marriage showed that the first two years of marriage are the happiest. After that, the power of feelings loses its fervor. At the beginning of a relationship, we get to know each other. Our brain responds better to new information because it likes variety. But it is difficult to live with strong feelings all the time, because it requires a lot of energy, which is then not enough for other areas of life. But later we miss these feelings, so it’s important to delight your brain with novelty and surprises. To do this, it is enough to dilute the family routine a little. Try interesting and exciting activities to add variety. Psychologist Arthur Aron has experimentally proven that people in long-term relationships prefer active and unusual pastimes to pleasant but routine ones.

Six-second hug

Of course, hug all you want, but even such short moments can do wonders for your relationship. During these minimal six seconds, your body already starts producing the hormone “happiness”. Hugging helps to relieve stress, strengthen emotional connection and create a sense of security. It is a quick but effective way to remind each other of support and love. Even when daily routines prevent you from spending much time together, these small gestures help keep you warm and close. Don’t forget to show tenderness: kiss your loved one, rub their noses, give them a massage, and express your love in any way you like.

The magic ratio

There is a certain phenomenon of the magic number in relationships, which is expressed in a ratio of 1 to 5 in favor of positive interaction. That is, when negative communication (reproaches, anger, insults, quarrels) outweighs positive communication (displays of tenderness and care, pleasant time together), the couple’s relationship is at risk.

Analyze the last week in your relationship with your loved one. In general, living together is not possible without negative moments, but try to outnumber the positive ones five to one.