6 laws of psychology that will make you look at the world differently

6 psychological laws that help not only to understand the illogical actions of people, but also to become more focused and rational yourself.

The Pretfell effect. If you are imperfect, people will love you more

When we want someone to like us, we inevitably emphasize the best aspects of our personality. As it turned out, this is completely in vain: studies show that demonstrating our vulnerability and weakness, on the contrary, increases the level of empathy for us on the part of other people. The more non-critical flaws you have, the better people will treat you. Being shy and doing something stupid when you first meet someone is a proven, though not obvious, way to get them to like you.

The theory is called the Pretfell effect and was tested by Elliot Aronson, a doctoral candidate in philosophy and psychology at Stanford University.

In general, making mistakes in public is not only normal, but also useful. In any case, as long as your mistakes do not cause serious harm to others.

The Pygmalion effect. High expectations increase productivity

Psychologist Robert Rosenthal studied this phenomenon. He conducted IQ tests in schools and then deliberately reported wrong results to teachers. Those children whose IQ was higher than the others were supposed to have shown “average” results. And those who actually showed average results were presented to teachers as children with the best mental abilities. What happened next?

Those students whom teachers considered more intelligent began to learn better. This is because teachers’ expectations of these students were higher than of others. The growing pressure on students made them learn better. Rosenthal’s conclusion is not unique to education.

“Your expectations create your reality.” Robert Rosenthal

In general, if you want to achieve something significant in life, you will have to set unrealistic goals and overestimate your ability to achieve them. And it will work. In addition, scientists know that those leaders who demand unrealistic results from their subordinates eventually achieve much more from their team than those who set only “realistic goals.”

The paradox of choice. The more options we have to choose from, the less satisfied we are with the decision we make

It seems logical that the more options we have to choose from, the better. We like stores with a large assortment more than small shops. When there are a lot of career development offers, we think that we will definitely make a good choice. But psychologists Mark Lepper and Sheena Iyengar have proven that this is not the case. As part of an experiment, the researchers offered one group of gourmets who went to a supermarket to choose one of six different types of jams for free, and another group to choose one of 24. The results of the study showed that 30% of people who chose from six options were satisfied with their choice. Of those who had to choose one jar of gift jam out of 24, only 3% were satisfied.

This phenomenon was discovered by psychologist Barry Schwartz. To keep you feeling like everything is going right, he advises artificially limiting the number of options. This, by the way, explains why users of Apple products are more satisfied with them than users of gadgets of other brands. Or why those who shop at small grocery stores feel more satisfied than visitors to large hypermarkets.

Witness effect. The more people around someone who needs help, the less likely they are to get help

The parable of the Good Samaritan illustrates this effect very well. It also explains many tragic events in our history. Researchers call it “responsibility mixing”. If someone on the street is in trouble and needs help, they are much more likely to get it if one person passes by than if there is a whole crowd. If someone is screaming for help and there are a lot of people nearby, each of them prefers to ignore the pleas because “others will help.” But if the cry for help is addressed to a specific person on an empty street, there is a much greater chance that it will be answered. This, by the way, explains the callousness and coldness of large cities.

The influence of this effect was proven by psychologists Bibb Latane and John Durley. They conducted an experiment in which they simulated a situation where high school students beat a weak “nerd” in the school locker room in front of other students. 85% of those who were the only witnesses to the humiliation rushed to the victim’s aid and helped him or her. But if two students were already watching what was happening, the chances that one of them would help the victim dropped to 65%. If there were four witnesses, the chances that any of them would pay attention dropped to 31%.

In general, if you find yourself in a difficult situation and need help, you should not immediately contact everyone who can help, but rather someone specifically, personally. In other words, it’s better to shout not “Someone help me!” but “Man in a gray coat, save me!”

The spotlight effect. People whose heads are constantly full of thoughts do not notice obvious things

Most people are currently engaged in some kind of serious thinking. When they are in a company, but immersed in their thoughts, they do not even notice obvious things, scientists from Cornell University have proven.

To put it simply, it doesn’t matter what you look like when you go to the office or university. Most people simply won’t pay attention to your appearance. You are in the spotlight much less often than you think. That’s why you can stop worrying about the external attributes of life.

Don’t buy an expensive car or smartphone to show off to your colleagues: you may think otherwise, but most of them don’t really care what you have. They are busy with their own problems.

Focusing effect. People overestimate the significance of things and phenomena they are thinking about

How big is the difference in daily mood between a person who earns $20 thousand a year and a person who earns 6000 UAH a month? Almost none. I mean, it is there, but it is minimal. Will you be happier if you spend the rest of your life in a house by the sea? I don’t think so. In other words, residents of California, where there are more than 300 days of sunshine a year, are no happier than residents of New York or Chicago.

This effect, by the way, is actively used by marketers. They convince you that buying this or that product will make you happier. But they are unlikely to keep their promise.

“Nothing in life matters as much as you think it does.” David Kahneman

To combat this psychological effect, you have to understand one simple axiom: nothing will be as important in a year or even a week as it seems to you today. Take life and its troubles easier and simpler. Also, accept the fact that people simply cannot predict the future. Therefore, it will be better if you stop making long-term plans.