“WHAT’S YOUR BLESSING? TO MURDER?” story from life

I want to tell you how thanks to a priest I did not kill my little girl in the womb. At that time I was not a church-goer, I came to the temple like a Pharisee and did not think that the Lord could really intervene in my life and change it.

We had very big problems in our family: my husband found someone else. A woman I knew noticed my grief and took me to see Archimandrite Benjamin. This meeting was very brief, Father Veniamin told me the following in a nutshell: “I will pray for your family, but you need to be strong. You have to give birth to a child again, and in 15 years your husband will leave you, and you will suffer, you will cry bitterly, but this is your cross”.

I drove home and inwardly murmured: “What kind of a bishop is this, he doesn’t know anything, he’s saying something! And I have problems at home, my eldest daughter is married, my son-in-law is in the yard, my daughter is studying at a technical college, and I am sitting with my grandson – what else can I talk about my child?” Nevertheless, I did everything that the bishop advised me: I bought a prayer book, read everything that he marked to me with his hand in the content of the prayer book, and I did not know that this yellow book would become my steering wheel for all the next years.

And everything would have been fine, but I had completely forgotten his words: “You must still have a child”

I don’t know how it happened, but within a week we all made up: my husband came home, we forgave each other offences, no one reproached anyone for anything, everything fell into place. We often came to the bishop and rejoiced – and he is simple, he can laugh. And everything would have been fine, but I had completely forgotten his words: “You must still have a child”….

When I realised that I was pregnant, I just thought: “Why do I need a child? I need a husband, because we have two daughters and a grandson.” And I could not accept the fact that everything was not going my way, being sure all my life that I was strong: as I plan, so I will do. So I decided to go and have an abortion. I was 39 at the time.

I went to the hospital and suddenly at the entrance I met Father Benjamin and Father Job! It had to happen that Father’s sister and niece had come to see the same doctor I was going to – to this very hospital, despite the fact that the Chernivtsi region is large and there are so many women’s doctors in different districts!

I approached the priests, folded my hands under the blessing and said: “Bless me!” And then again Father Veniamin’s words pierced my soul: “What should I bless you for? To the murder you have planned? Go and give birth. And if you do not listen to me, you will lie in bed for forty years and bleed. You see how much the Lord cares for you, that he has gathered us all together to turn you away from this sin!”

Then the lift arrived, my companions got into the lift and left, and I was left alone in the corridor. I couldn’t move! I felt very bad…

I still went to the appointment, the doctor checked me and told me that I was pregnant, but he thought that this child would not be fixed: it would miscarry. But the Lord judged otherwise, and my whole pregnancy flew by like in a fairy tale. I was healthy, I went to take communion to the bishop, and he prayed for me.

And before the Dormition of the Most Holy Mother of God on 25 August 1995 I gave birth to my daughter – Mashenka. On the night before the birth of Mary the light in the house disappeared, I lit candles. My husband was away abroad, so I got into the car and drove to the maternity hospital.

When I arrived, I knocked on the door and the nurse asked: “Who’s there?” I answered her loudly: “Who comes to the maternity hospital at night? Maternity women, it’s not Kolyada, I didn’t come to carol.” And then again I met Father Demetrius from a neighbouring village! Where did he come from at night? I folded my hands in a cross and took his blessing. Then I learnt that the priest brought a woman in labour to the maternity hospital, as no one else had a car. I am writing now and remembering how I was always accompanied by my Guardian Angel.